Naked lady tees (no!) and other gifts

Golf and Christmas can be a dangerous combination.

The problem, other than convincing the family a leisurely 18 would be a wonderful way to spend Christmas afternoon, is gifts.

Not the ones you’re giving.

The ones you might get.

It’s probably too late in the game for many golfers, but in the spirit of public service, here’s a short list of dos and don’ts you may want to subltly give to your significant other, your aunt or your wife’s mom to let them know what a golfer wants and, more importantly, doesn’t want.

THE GOOD LIST

-- Anything with an Augusta National logo on it because it can only be bought on the property there and they don’t sell anything cheesey;

-- Golf balls, preferably Titlelists. It may seem like a cliche gift but golfers love finding a dozen or two under the tree. It’s like payback for all those we’ve lost under other trees;

-- Shirts that look like something Fred Couples might wear. I’d say shirts like Tiger wears but most of us don’t have the abs or the biceps to look good in some of his form-fitting stuff;

-- Tickets to the Wachovia Championship;

-- A surprise weekend trip to the Verizon Heritage at Hilton Head;

-- An HDTV, the better to see how Phil Mickelson plays shots around the green;

-- A DVD of the 1986 Masters. No matter how many times you watch it - and we all know Jack wins - it still gives you a tingle.

THE BAD LIST

-- Golf balls that aren’t white;

-- Any kind of score-keeping doo-dad;

-- Golf sandals;

-- Anything with John Daly’s logo on it;

-- Iron covers;

-- An 11-wood;

-- Sweaters with golfers on the front, the back or anywhere;

-- Naked lady tees (sorry, I couldn’t resist a ‘Caddyshack’ reference).

Merry Christmas