Friday, February 12, 2010

Golf -- As It Wasn't Meant To Be

If we lived in Cleveland or Milwaukee or one of those places where they spend as much time with a snow shovel as with a sand wedge, this winter thing might not be so bad.

But this is North Carolina, where golf is supposed to be a year-round game. Just not this year.

One day soon, the sun will shine, the thermometer will nudge near 60 and the wind will take a day off. And there won’t be a tee time to be found.

Until then, I’m tired of:

  • Checking the seven-day forecast and seeing daily high temperatures that resemble my nine-hole scores;
  • Spending time on the computer looking at Scotty Cameron putters instead of using one;
  • Looking at brown grass;
  • Hitting practice shots off of plastic grass. It’s nice plastic grass but it’s still plastic – and leaves green plastic skid marks on the bottom of your 8-iron;
  • Eating soup at lunch in the grill room and wondering if it’s worth putting on four layers of clothes and my old mud-stained golf shoes to play nine holes just because…
  • Watching enough golf on television to recognize Alex Prugh;
  • And, Troy Merritt.
  • Thinking about the stretching exercises I should probably be doing because they’re supposed to be good for me;
  • Seeing commercials for ‘Being John Daly;’
  • Telling the same golf stories because no one’s had a chance to warrant new ones;
  • Waiting for Tiger Woods to return;
  • ‘Carts On Path’ signs;
  • Wondering whatever happened to my shorts;
  • And my tan;
  • Practicing my set-up in the garage in front of a mirror. (Okay, I don’t really do that but I’ve heard it helps);
  • Feeling guilty about not playing through the casual water and cold weather like some guys I know;
  • Washing my golf towel and calling it working on my game;


Anonymous said...

Well, I'd like to say that I find it kind of nice that winter's here--even as much as I appreciate your comments--because: 1) the courses aren't crowded...the normal 5-hour Sunday afternoon round is cut by 1/3, even if it's cart path only (if more people walked, it'd be cut by 1/2); 2) you can usually find your errantly-hit golf balls in the bare woods...and find some pretty nice 'extra' balls out there, too; and (perhaps most serendipitously) 3) you can sometimes find yourself on Pinehurst #4 on a Saturday morning (last weekend), almost all alone on the whole course except for your caddie, when big honking snowflakes come drifting down with no chance of sticking, but giving you a rare insight into how *real* nature is still a part of our sport, rather than in most other sports where climate controlled indoor venues have made participation (on the field or as a fan) basically a HD-ready made-for-TV activity.

Finally, too: as much as I love the lovely and lengthy Carolina Spring and Autumn golf seasons, it's winter here that harkens us back to golf's roots. Playing a full round in sub-50 (sub-40 even) degree weather with the wind blowing, in full foul weather gear, and people not taking the time for 15 practice swings, makes me want to make up a Scottish brogue for the day, take a wee nip at the end of the round (at least a Guinness), and go home gratified and warmed by the thought that I'm playing at an endeavor over 500 years old.

I enjoyed your post and agree with all of it. However, you want to join me for a quick nine before it snows this afternoon?